I Almost Validated Her Insecurities

A few weeks ago, I read a post on social media (SM) that really had me reeling all over. On the one hand I was really angry at what I was reading but at the same time, I also felt such sadness for the situation and a sense of compassion for both these women.

I think, to a certain degree, many of us have experienced some level of self-confidence issues - or rather the lack thereof, whether it was during childhood, our teens, as young mums and even as adults, eg. when dealing with a challenging work environment. We often also think of ourselves as ‘not as good as’ the girl next door. 


A young lady - let’s call her Charlie, wrote on a certain SM platform that a fellow neighbourhood mom, let’s call her Lillian  (one of the in-crowd apparently) had commented on how ‘inferior’ she was because of her low social media following. Charlie, who said she didn't really use social media much, however asked this local group on SM to please follow her so that she could show Lillian that she was not as ‘inferior’ as she had suggested. The group all rallied around Charlie, bad-mouthed Lilian and started following Charlie in support of her situation.

I have to admit, for a few moments, I started spewing out my frustration in a comment and while I was not agreeing with the situation at all, I still said I would follow her, to make her feel better. Fortunately the Holy Spirit stopped me before I finished my rant and hit the ‘send’ button. 

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I realised that neither woman really knew who they were and were still trying to find their own place in the world, whether they knew it or cared to admit it. 

The sad thing is that this happens more often than we can ever imagine. To a certain degree this is a form of bullying which has absolutely no place in the Kingdom of God. 

 Eleanor Roosevelt really knew what she was saying when she said:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

 It’s only in my later years (goodness - I say that and I’m only 43) that I, myself, feel totally comfortable with who I am. Maybe it’s because I am not in the same environment I grew up in, surrounded by a culture which feeds on the self-inflicted responsibility of judging your social standing by the car you drive, your job, your house or the suburb you live in. It really is quite sad. I was always so consumed by this ‘perfect template’ I needed to fit, that I completely missed who I really was, and sadly, for a very long time. I missed who God called me to be. It's this seeming perfection that you're chasing that cause a delay in your  calling.

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Charlie is only one woman in a sea of many others, who fall into the trap of giving others the power to dictate who she should be. She clearly stated that she didn't use SM much, but still felt the need to show Lilian that she had worth in whatever form that took. 

Lilian on the other hand thinks she has worth because of the amount of followers she has.  These are people who don’t know who she really is and who may never actually speak a word to her in person...ever. She feels she is popular because of this tribe of so-called fans, who in reality are just scrolling past her SM feed, very possibly just clicking ‘like’ or ‘love’ as they spiral down the abyss of posts. 

I'm not against social media at all. But I do think we should draw the line when it influences us to the point where it gives us an identity. It is not who God calls us to be.

There are a few things terribly wrong with this situation, so here are a few questions that hopefully will make us all think if ever faced with an identity crises the way Charlie and Lilian both find themselves in, maybe in their defence, unknowingly.

1. What are these women teaching their children?

ASK YOURSELF:  If your daughter comes home from school with a similar dilemma - what advice would you give them? 

2. Instead of affirming who she really is, what have all the other women (including almost me) done?  

ASK YOURSELF: Before I jump on the band-wagon to ‘support’ someone in this situation - Am I re-affirming her insecurities by supporting her?

3.  As a woman in the Kingdom of God - where does my value come from?  

ACT:  What scriptures can you find on how God sees you and how He values you? Please take a moment to find scriptures that affirm who you are in Christ. 

 We are called to be an example, to lead, and to be different even when it means that it impacts friendship. The light of God inside you, is what will draw others to Him.

Take a moment to read: Proverbs 31: 10-31



MIGHTY WOMAN OF VALOUR! it is time to rise up! It’s time to find the scriptures for ourselves and then also teach the younger generation that our worth does not come from anyone else, EXCEPT from our Father who created us.

It’s time to rise up and find our worth and our value IN HIM.  We do not need to allow the world to dictate who we are and we certainly should not be handing our own responsibility for finding out who we are to someone who lacks wisdom themselves. 


None of us, including me, are here to judge these women.  I don’t know whether Charlie or Lilian are saved. I don’t know their' history, their' struggles or the daily challenges they face at home, work, socially or financially. I acknowledge that all of these have an impact on how people act and respond to what happens around them. What I do know is that there are too many women, both young and old, including me & you, that need to know that we are:

CHOSEN - By a Father who calls YOU by name. Who knows every detail about YOUR life and even knows how many hairs YOU have on YOUR head.

LOVED - No matter your past, present or future - GOD LOVES YOU and sent His Son to die for YOU. And if YOU were the only person on earth - He still would still have sent Jesus to save you. 

REDEEMED - Your sin is already PAID FOR with the blood of Jesus.  No matter what satan thinks he has on you - GOD HAS REDEEMED YOU. You are forgiven and don’t need to walk around with the guilt that may plague you from years gone by. You are totally accepted with no strings and conditions attached. 


Our worth is found in a Father who loves us so deeply and unconditionally. Isn’t it time we believed it. 

God has equipped us and given us His Word to teach us who we can be as a woman called and loved by Him. 

I believe in the power of faith-filled declarations which affirm who we are in Christ. 

Our FREE GIFT to you. 

Click on the link for your free DAILY AFFIRMATIONS printable download.

Put it in a frame, or stick it on your mirror, but place it where you will see it daily. 

Read these declarations out loud every day. Let each declaration sink in and allow it to affirm who you are in Christ. Let the devil know that you are no longer on His agenda, but following God’s agenda. 

You Are A Mighty Woman of Valour.




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